HELLEN
(NO IMAGES, ONLY a lot of TEXT)
PLATFORMS
A SNAKE WHO GOT
WHAT SHE WANTED
WHO IS HELLEN?
Hellen is a blue-green colored Siamese spitting cobra who was born in 2022 Turkey, but would later move to the state of California at the age of 8 in 2030. She'd do so because the rest of her large family did. All being snakes and reptiles, obviously they would want to be closer to warmer areas and what not. Cold-blooded and all that jazz... But Kaylana Nagastraff wanted to stay because she was close to her heritage...Who's Kaylana Nagastraff you ask...? Oh! Well, that's Hellen...You see, Hellen wasn't always "Hellen". Growing up, her father (the mother was absent) would tell her stories that her family has heritage to Scandinavian Vikings. This idea was something that her father wanted her to believe, because it was something he believed as well. The idea of it was passed down from Kaylana's father's father, which was passed by his mother, and his mother's mother, and etc etc etc. The last name "Nagastraff" (Naga•stroff) was a name that had relevance in Norway as well. With that country being one of the Scandinavian countries in which Vikings once roamed... and Kaylana became obsessed with it.Kaylana lived for Viking culture. She believed everything her father told her and everything she did research on. She became an expert on Norse Mythology. So you better believe she was there to judge every piece of norse pop-media there was. But she isn't a nerd about it. She very much kept it to herself, and did it in her free time, because she knew to have her priorities straight. She was a buisness woman through and through.She grinded, and became a very successful secretary to a large company in 2046, at just age 24. Her presence was something to be respected, despite being quite young. But you can imagine being a large 9ft long anthropomorphic cobra was mainly what drove that authority home... Whenever anyone, even her own boss, questions her decisions... her smile fades, the eyes go wide, and the hood frills up, and they very quickly realize that upon further inspection, she was right... and then her smiling mask goes right back on. She gets very scary at times... But the only decision she can understand people questioning her for was changing her name to "Hellen".When she did it, people would always ask why. Of course the last name was still there, but she very much insisted people to only refer to her as "Hellen with two l's", when she legally changed her name to that. She did this because she was acutely aware of what kind of woman she was, and she wanted to embrace it, along with her Norse obsession. So taking that obsession and who she was, she took inspiration from the goddess of Norse's underworld herself... "Hel". Her name was then changed to Hellen.Hellen loved the HELL out of Helheim, and somewhat wanted to be in that realm, because it frankly sounded much more enjoyable. It was so different to the popularized "Hell" you always see. She didn't believe in Christianity, Buddhism, Taoism, or anything like that. She believed purely in Norse gods and Norse mythology. She believed that when she dies, she wouldn't be going to HELL, she would go to Helheim. Considering she believed the other "Underworlds" and "Heavens" didn't exist, it only made sense to her that she'd go to Helheim when she died. But what didn't make any sense...
WAS HER ENTIRE FAMILY HISTORY.
It was said earlier that Hellen's family were all snakes and reptiles with viking blood. But you see, vikings roamed in Norway and other Northern European countries, and those places have very cold temperatures. Admittedly, Turkey (where she was born) gets pretty cold as well. But its tolerable to the Nagastraff's since its located right in between Africa and Europe. So, whenever it got too cold, they can just easily move away for a bit.But by the logic of Vikings being furhter up North, how did those Nagastraff reptiles grow their offspring in those environments? Turkey is fine, but those other countries are intense. Any family member would've died all those years in the cold. So how did they breed?Of course there could have been some cross-breeding between species, or very early on trafficking/stealing of reptiles into Scandinavia, or maybe some Scandinavian mammal traveled to Southeast Asia (where Siamese Cobras originate), and gave some cobra the last name "Nagastraff". But no... Hellen's family believes that none of those things are true. They believe that they were born there, bred there, and fought beside everyone there... and they'd find evidence.They've ran tests on their DNA... It always came back as mostly Siamese spitting cobra, with NO DNA of anything that could even survive in those cold environments. So that proved there were no cross-breeding in the family with animals that can survive the cold...They did as much research into their family records as they could... It would always say that there was never any other species of animal with their last names. The entire family tree consisted of only REPTILES. So then it couldn't have been that their last name was given by a mammal...They've asked and hired researchers to look into parts of Scandinavia, to search for mentions of their last names. There would always be something there. This proved that their last names were involed, present, and relavent with vikings. So this proved that they were there, but in what way?But then HOW... How could they NOT be from Viking heritage? But then again... How COULD they be?To make it make sense, they needed to have a family member who is a reptile, be born in northern europe and into a Viking family long ago, given the last name "Nagastraff", survive the harsh colds, to THEN make it to Southeast Asia or Turkey, and grow the family... But it sounds too complex and unlikely to be true! But Hellen was going to prove it...Hellen Nagastraff wanted hard evidence. She wanted to find more than just their names on locations and buildings up North. She wanted to find skeletal remains, history books, relics, things that she can feed into research and match with her history/DNA. She was going to find hard evidence that someone in her family was a snake/reptile born in the cold, who SURVIVED to pass down their last names... No matter WHAT.
THE SEARCH FOR A
SNAKE IN THE SNOW
WHAT DID SHE FIND?
Hellen at first didn't know where to look. How would she be able to prove it to everyone, including her own family?Well, she had the immediate idea to go up north to Finland, Sweden, and Norway. But that would be stupid. Those countries have temperatures that go to a highest of around 30º Celsius, and a lowest of -50º Celsius. Snakes normally need a temperature of 60-90º. There was no way she would survive out there. So after working at that one company as the secretary for 6 more years, she left in 2052 at age 30 to go looking all around. She was extremely financially stable, so she was not afraid to leave and pursue her goal.Of course she tried the usual methods again. DNA, family records, and reading up on books. But then she got a little more creative... She contacted expert Norse researchers around the world like her, and asked them to dig through their own research to look for the last name "Nagastraff" in any of their texts... nothing. She hired multiple archeologists to go digging in places all up north for skeletal remains of possible family members. The project became so big, that she started an entire small company just for it. Calling it "NANH" (Northern Archeologists for Nagastaff History) in 2052.Getting sponsors somehow, this company would make dig sites in anywhere up north. Whether it'd be a random state like North Dakota, or an island like Greenland, she would always have land there. They would eventually find things like artifacts, books, and secret chambers, but she would always tell her workers to put them back or leave them alone. She didn't care for things like a nearly half-blank book written by a "Ravenhaul" talking about magic and spells, unless it had something to point to her heritage. "Throw it away" she would always say "Leave it for someone else to discover".But after looking and looking for 9 years... and getting nothing... Its obvious what would happen next.In late 2061 at age 39, she disbanded the company, and with still lots of money left in the bank from investors and her past job... she retired early. Sitting in her lavish apartment, drinking her life away. Her father already passed away at this point, she wasn't married, no kids... but did have multiple lovers...
HER LAST ONE
BEING ME
She found me and my Arks on one of her searches in 2060, in the state of Nova Scotia where we tried to hide. She obviously knew about us, because everyone in the world did. But she didn't care that it was our land, she wanted to go digging... and we let her because we were enthralled by her drive. We thought her goal was interesting, so we decided to help her, and she came to value us greatly. I mean, whats more valuable than loyal-ass aliens who can basically do whatever you ask them to do? Workers developed into partners, partners into lovers, and then we hit it off. Then we'd stay with her for the longest time (mostly me, Arkhize though).But after disbanding the company, eventually she'd get this fire back in her, during early 2062... It was quite depressing in the months sticking around her after she gave up, but something snapped in her one day.She decided that she would go up to the furthest north point in Norway to go looking for something, ANYTHING she could use as proof... After all, what did she have to lose at this point? So she requested me, and ONLY me, to come with her and keep her alive on her search. Since my atoms could do anything, I could become her personal heating lamp or anything she needs. And by bringing my pod with us, I could create anything she needed at anytime. So we went...She bought a cabin as close to the north-most part of Norway as possible, and we stayed there. It was cold, but by configuring my atoms, I was able to make my body burn as hot as I wanted. As hot as she needed. I could also extract the atoms from my pod and fill the air of the cabin with them, and then make them vibrate to keep the inside extremly warm... We'd leave together somedays to go searching around the area for anything, while I stand by her side keeping her warm out in the cold. She wanted to find hard proof. Something like skeletal remains of a snake, or art telling a story, or text telling of her heritage. We'd go at this for months... and find nothing.She didn't know what she was doing anymore... But I was still there to encourage her, and support her every decision. She appreciated me greatly, and I could tell she loved me... or at least cared about me.But one day in the middle of the year, I decided I would go out searching for proof by myself instead of her. My atoms kept the house warm while I was gone, so I had nothing to worry about. I walked around the area. There were multiple small quarry-like holes where I dug large chunks into the snowy ground using my atoms. I did most of the work for her in that regard, and I was absolutely happy to. So I worked that day for about an hour and a half, until I decided it was good enough for now... because yet again, I found nothing. But when I came back to the cabin, I saw a note on the table... and Hellen was nowhere to be seen... The note said:"Dear Ark,
I know you will come back with nothing, and I know we will find nothing. I'm tired of this song and dance, and even though you tell me its not, I know this whole search is worthless. But I have one very last attempt, which will tell me if I am who I think I am. An attempt that I know you wont approve of, but you'll live on without me. Its kind of your thing. I'm sure you've had someone do this before.I'm leaving. I'm going to let the cold take me, and let my death take me to her realm. My heritage will put me in the Hel I belong in, and if it doesn't, well, at least I wont have to live with the pain any longer. So please, don't come looking for me, don't organize a funeral, and don't tell anyone where I am. You're the only one I trust with this. Let the freezing cold take me to a place colder than here.With love, Kaylana Nagastraff, or Hellen, it doesn't matter XOXO"I went looking for her anyway. Bursting out of the house I saw a straight line in the snow from the backdoor, and nothing else. A snake-trail. There was no snow storm, it wasn't night, it was perfectly bright and daytime. The scenery in the forest was beautiful, but the panic I felt made me want to puke. The trail went on and on. I was thinking that maybe she would still be alive... that is unless she had left as soon as I did, because I was gone for nearly 2 hours. And with it being as cold as it was, and with how long the trail was going, and with how serious she was-...And then the trail ended... there I saw her body. Completely still, lifeless eyes, laying behind a tree, covered in snow. I cried, but I didn't sob.She was right. I have been through this multiple times; a loved one who committed suicide. But that doesn't mean the pain of it went away, it just made everything... so automatic. I grabbed her body, laid it flat on the ground, and remembering her note... I left her there. Saying anything I needed to say to her corpse, I walked away with my head held low. Whenever anyone asked where her body was, I showed them her note. I was the only one she trusted til the very end... and so she laid there, and the snow buried her body... She had died in mid 2062 at age 40...
AND SHE WOKE UP IN A DIFFERENT PLACE...
WITH COLD OPEN GATES,
HER NEW PURPOSE AWAITS
COLD.
Everything was so cold... The creaking of trees and crunching of snow echoed in her mind... But she wasn't shivering anymore, and inside her body there was no heartbeat... But she was alive.As soon as she opened her eyes, she shot awake and leaned up straight, breathing heavily. Every inhale dried her mouth, and every exhale didn't have a visible cloud. Her insides were as cold as her surroundings, and her surroundings... barren. Ice and snow blew around her, while the ground was covered in the same light-blue ice. Looking around, she saw a giant wall. It stretched into the distance from the left and right, with a singular giant open gate, and a pathway strething from it... She saw people. Humans and animals dragging their feet, claws, paws, fins, hooves and etc, moving towards the gate. Then that's when she knew where she was... and instead of a face of worry and dread, Hellen had the biggest "It worked..." look on her face.Helheim. She was in Helheim; the Norse underworld of the dead. She stood up straight and slithered into the gates.Inside, there were homes made of blue and white brick, wood, and this blue thatch-ish looking material. Some of the homes were bigger than others while some even looked more modern than others. But they all had the same very thin see-through ice as their windows. It was like a usual neighborhood. But everyone inside these homes and buildings had a freezing blue color to their skin, fur, feathers and more, while their eyes (void of irises and pupils) glowed a pure white. Everyone looked sad and depressed, rightfully so as they were in Helheim; a place of death, sadness, and gloom...But not for Hellen. As she was slithering down the foggy main path with all the other deceased, it seemed like she was the only one enjoying herself. Smirking ecstatically, and basking in the scenery like she was exploring Disneyland... The homes and buildings never seemed to end though... She and the other deceased followed the path for so long... until she heard and FELT the rumble of a howl.A howl so loud that everyone around covered their ears. When it stopped, straight ahead on the main path far into the fog and mist, stood the figure of a lone quadrupedal wolf. The eyes on this wolf glowed a bright yellow on it's dark figure through the fog. Another figure slowly appeared, walking through the fog with the wolf. As they both walked closer, their silhouettes began to fade, and their appearances began to show.The wolf was gray, with icicles hanging from it's fur, and it was as big as a king sized bed. While the robed figure, as they walked closer, removed the hood of their robe... It was a white human woman, with black hair and brown eyes. Her face was half normal, but the other half showed her bare skull... half her face was decayed. Hellen knew who it was...They kept walking until they were about a few yards away. The woman began to talk, and even though she was speaking calmly and normally, her voice still echoed in the mind of Hellen and the other deceased, almost as if she was right next to them. She spoke in a righteous tone..."Greetings dearly departed... If you are here, then it means you have met your unamusing demise. You all have died, and you will never be able to go back to your normal, unassuming lives. You will be dead forever. And because you lived unamusingly, there will be no reincarnation or Asgard for you... but you wont suffer here. I will care for you all, and your undead lives will continue in my kingdom. My name is Hel, but you may refer to me as your queen or your goddess...
And if you are here, it also means your ancestors have brought you here, to Helheim; The Norse land of the dead. All of your ancestors were offspring of Norse gods, goddesses, kings, and queens... All of you have Norse blood flowing in your veins... All... Except for one..."Hel turned to look Hellen right into her eyes...
"YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE."
Hellen's heart was frozen solid and unmoving already, as she was dead... but the feeling of it dropping was still there. Her eyes shot open, she fell to her hands, and held her head low, thinking to herself. She... didn't have Norse blood in her body...? It was true then... All of her efforts and searching was for nothing. Her death was for nothing... 40 years, for nothing at all. But if that were the case, how did she get into Helheim? Hellen felt her eyes dart around the ground thinking and thinking... Then she saw Hel's black robe in front of her. Hel was standing before her, looking down with a face of regret."But you still wonder why you are here, I assume...
Well... Although you do not have Norse blood in you, Kaylana... or shall I say Hellen Nagastraff...? You have more than proven yourself as a woman of Norse. I have watched you, and I myself snatched your soul to bring it here, instead of the other underworlds. Your death wasn't a valiant one, but your desire, dedication, and worship to me and my kingdom, truly has made you deserving of MORE than just being a civilian of my kingdom. You look up to BE me... and for that, I cannot give you my place... But I can give you a place beside me."Hel reached for the top of Hellen's head, and Hellen instinctively lowered it. Hel's hand was small compared to Hellen's flat snake head and hood. But when her palm made contact, as soon as it did, there was a low hum... When Hel lifted her hand and lowered it to her side, Hellen immediately began to feel her body molting and shedding.As a snake, she was used to shedding, but this was different... Her skin and scales were shedding then coming back and shedding then coming back, at a rapid pace. She felt no pain, but she began to grow in size. She felt two things prod her shoulders... from inside her skin. They kept prodding and poking until they burst out, hissing beside her neck and head. Her hood grew so large it began to cover the two things that just emerged... and then the shedding slowed down... and stopped.Looking around, Hellen grew twice her original size, about 16 feet in length. But just from her head to her waist, it was around 7 feet in length, with the other 9 feet being all tail and muscle. Her skin was now a green-lime color, while her underbelly scales were a light blue. Looking beside her, she had grown two other heads. They had their own necks, no hoods, and stared around with glowing yellow void-like eyes. They were each embezzled with a small, yellow, glowing, upside-down triangle on their heads. She felt a connection to them... like they were part of her brain, but still had semi-sentience themselves. She felt her heartbeat again... and she also felt her stomach feeling bottomless, yet full at the same time... Like she was hungry, but not starving. She looked down at Hel, looking up at her creation."Hellen... You are my choice to be The Sentinel of Helheim...
You are the gateway, the hunter, and ambassador of my kingdom. You will have the role of seeking those who's time is up, and you will devour them... When you do, your body will open a gateway into my domain... severing their soul and sending it here, but saving the body to fill your near endless hunger. And when you are not finding those who are on their way to my domain, you will be hunting those who escape it... You also will help me communicate with the other sentinels and rulers of the underworlds. You are the only one other than me, that I will allow to travel between Earth and Hel at-will... You will never die, never be alive, but you will always have purpose...Do you accept?"Hellen looked down at her hands. She looked around as the deceased stared up at her in awe, while some others already begun bowing to her. She turned to her two heads, both having the same shocked expression as her... She thought about her whole life... Was her last name just something made up? Was it given to her family by a drunken Viking as a joke? Is she the only one in her family who made it here...? She and her heads slowly began to smile, thinking about here and now... All that matters is that SHE made it... So she spoke...
"YES... I ACCEPT YOUR MAJESTY."
CREATION. ERASURE. PRESERVATION.
That brings us to now.
Dawning a simple white suit, black vest, yellow tie, glasses, and a clipboard in-hand... Hellen would become Helheim's Sentinel, and gain multiple abilities, gifted by Hel herself...The ability of being able to swallow people whole was the first thing. As Hel mentioned, by swallowing people whole, she severs their soul from their body, and sends it to Hel, while the physical body is eaten. Due to her new size and jaw as a snake, it was extremely easy to simply pick up anyone she had on her list and simply swallow them without chewing. This is only her main head though, her other two had different abilities. Any name that magically appeared on that list, she would teleport to them, let them know that their time is up, and devour. Which was the ability that belonged to her right head. While the other head (on the left) had telekinesis.Each of these three powers were split to one for each head. All three heads, with their own thoughts and sentience, but all of which were copies of Hellen's brain at the time of Hel's gifting. So they communicate amongst each other, but rarely argue due to them thinking exactly the same.Hellen became a "grim reaper" of sorts. She travels around Earth taking the lives of those who have Norse blood in them. She enjoyed this job, and maybe it was a bit therapeutic for her as well, just maybe... Only because she couldn't be LIKE THEM − the people with Norse blood in them. But she would never tell you that. Because even with her newfound purpose, she was still the same hard-working, even scarier now, business-woman she's always had been.Hellen would do exactly what Hel requested of her, not even because Hel was much more powerful or anything, but because she truly loved doing it. She was unkillable, she was strong, she was powerful, she was where she wanted to be, and even though she didn't get the truth she wanted, she did get the respect of someone she looked up to. She loved her new purpose...And she would also soon discover what Hel meant by "You will help me communicate with the other sentinels and rulers of the underworlds."
Every Religion, Region, and Ethnicity that has ever had their own beliefs of what happens after death... are all right. Minus the idea of a land for the "good ones"... Not anymore at least.A few years ago, around 1990, all the Gods of death, sin, and evil of EVERY belief, rose up to power thanks to how much each was being done on Earth. They fed off all of it, and using this power they all teamed up. They overthrew and killed every God of life, reincarnation, fetility, and etc, except for THE God. THAT God. Because in Christianity, he has so many followers and so much power, that he was simply able to survive this raid and hide away somewhere... But more on that another time.All you need to know now, is that if you are good, you are not gifted Heaven or Valhalla or anything like that, you are just simply reincarnated. That is all God is able to do right now. But if you are bad, you simply go to an underworld, to live for all eternity. And I will say "an underworld" because only one is accessable for you. ALL of these "Land of the Dead"s exist, but your own belief in WHICH ONE exists, and the blood in your body, determines which one you go to.So Christianity believers go to Hell, Zoroastrianism believers will go to Druj-demana, someone with African blood goes to Duat, and Norse blood, well you get the idea... But ANYONE will be reincarnated if they lived self-less.But what about a mix of two? Say for instance, a Greek man who believes in Shinto. He has Greek blood, but strongly believes in the Shinto religion... So would he go to Hades or Yomi? Well it all depends on the rulers of each underworld and their respective Sentinels.When that man dies or is ABOUT to die, whoever can get their hands on his soul first, gets to keep him. And if they both get their hands on him at the same time, then they have to fight for it... legally. Court-style. With the biggest, baddest, and most popular of them all as the judge; Satan. He has the final say.Thankfully, Hellen is a smart and skilled woman. Ever since she started her new job in 2062, she has been best at it for these tens of years. She's always been one of the quickest to snatching souls, and one of the best at winning cases. She's made Hel proud. But as mentioned, the other thing Hellen had to do, was catch any people who ESCAPE from Helheim, because there was a way.Off in a cave somewhere, in one of the Northern-most part of Greenland, is the entrance to Hel. But its not some doorway... You have to do a ritual in an unsuspecting dead-end of the cave, and the portal will open... The only two who know how to do this ritual are Hel and Hellen. But if you are already in Helheim, then escaping is as easy as walking to the edge of the realm... which would take you about 3 months in Earth-time.The walk from Hel's wall to the edge of Helheim's exit, without stopping, would take you nearly 900+ hours. But with Helheim being the land of the dead, you COULD do it, since you're already dead... Of course you'll still feel your legs grow tired, the shiver of the cold, and the fear that you'll forever be lost in the endless cold foggy winds. But you wont starve, freeze, or lose your breath and die... You just have to be sure you're going in the right direction.The pathway on the ground to Hel's Kingdom will guide you in a direction, but after a while, the pathway will fade. You will be left on your own to go in a straight direction, because there is only ONE exit... If you lose your direction, you will be lost in the endless cold fog. Step after step on the barren, flat, endless, cold, icy ground. Other than that one exit, the rest of Helheim is literally infinite, and the only landmark is Hel's wall to her kingdom which is ALSO infinite, and only takes you right back to where you started; The Entrance of Helheim... The place you were trying to escape...But Hel is a merciful goddess. If you are lost in the endless cold, and you beg her for mercy, as you call for her into the fog, she will answer you in a disembodied voice. She will offer you a second chance in her Kingdom, and if you accept, Hellen will appear to open a gateway back to the gates of the kingdom. But if you try to run again, be SURE you get to the exit that time, because Hel will NOT answer you the second time.But even if you do ever manage to get to the exit, Hellen WILL find you eventually to send you right back... There's no use.
As the years pass... the year is now 2138...The Earth is technologically advanced... especially with the discovering of magic. But thankfully the discovering of what happens after death is still left up in the air for everyone. If everyone found out, it would be a worst-case scenario...Because the underworld you go to resides in your belief and/or blood in your body, people could easily begin to start picking and choosing which "Land of the dead" they go to, and which one they do not. People would start to breed with specific bloods in order to go to the Underworld of their choosing. Plus, the more blood that gets mixed, the more complicated things become for the leaders and their Sentinels. More court cases and what not for possession, and nobody wants MORE court cases... what a drag. So thats why its up to the Sentinels to make sure the right people get in, but never get OUT.And thankfully, nobody has found the ONE thing that has actual real proof, descriptions, and rituals of these Underworlds... A book found at the deepest part of the world... The Mariana Trench... The closest thing to these Underworlds... and the Arks went there.Being immortals, and being able to shapeshift into anything, and also just being nosy bastards, of course they'd try it, and succeed. They did it VERY early on, when they first crash landed on Earth and were exploring around. The book is a Necronomicon. A book filled with rituals, descriptions, and explanations of beings with higher righteousness... that actually works. The Arks have kept it with them in-secret for decades and never really bothered to use it... Until now...Arkhize would recently hit a drought in adding women to his A.S.S. list... but something told him to leave the a slot for Season 4 open... Open for a snake. Call it premonition, or DEI, or just a hunch, but he believed a snake was necessary...But a Bobcat known as "Dianni" got fed up with it. Fed up with Ark waiting around for a snake to show up, when A.S.S. was SO CLOSE to being done. She wanted him to reach his goal to see what he does. That slot was the ONLY ONE left at this point... So she took matters into her own hands. She knew what kind of women Ark was into, and the evil, sadistic creatures in the Necronomicon could probably provide that...So she took it and ran off into the forest, and he ran after her. But he was too late. She lifted up a barrier of fire to prevent Ark from stepping inside as she read, teasing him about all the "Great tinder options!~". She eventually made it to a page about how to summon the "Current Sentinel of Helheim", and decided to do it, in the hopes it would be a woman Ark would fall in love with and finally add to the list, finishing it. She believed there was no risk considering her magical abilities were what they were... So she drew three intersecting triangles on the ground, and begun saying a hex.As she finished saying the hex, the three triangles on the ground began to glow lime-green, light blue, and yellow in the dark forest. Then rising from the ground, with six yellow glowing eyes, and a white suit, the huge three-headed snake stretched it's body... It looked at Dianni, then at Arkhize. All three of it's heads stared at him in shock for a while... then they dawned a grin... And all of them spoke in unison...